Growing up, we probably believed everything our Moms told us. We believed her when she told us she’s serving Hungarian Chicken for lunch, only to find out years later that “Hungarian Chicken” is actually fish. We resisted the urge to turn that shimmering snow globe over when she said a puppy would die every time we touched something at the store. We were scared out of our wits when she said a priest would emerge from our open wound every time we refused to have it washed with disinfectant.
Our Moms resort to the wackiest lies to get us to obey her. But sometimes, she lies so she could put our needs before her own. Let’s celebrate the blessing that is our Mom by listing eight lies she have told us so she could take care of our needs without making us feel guilty.
1. “Go have fun. I’ll be okay.”
You were 12 and you asked her if you could go to your friend Marta’s birthday party. She hesitated for a while, when you said the party starts at six. You see the apprehension creeping across her face–six might be too late. “But everyone’s raving about it,” you tell her with so much excitement, that she finally said yes.
When she picks you up at 10, you give her a peck on the cheek and dive into an account of how the party went. She listened eagerly, not telling you about how she paced around the house from the moment you went out the door until it was time to pick you up.
You are twenty-something and you go on an out-of-town trip. Mom tells you to take care, and to not worry about her, she’ll be okay. She never mentions that the entire three days you were away, she stayed up ‘til 3:00 a.m. silently praying for your safety.
2. “It didn’t hurt.”
She said it with a smile, to appear more convincing. But in fact it did hurt. It hurt when for nine months, her tummy stretched so you could fit inside. It also hurt, agonizingly, when she brought you out into the world. When she heard you crying inside your room over a love you found and lost, she cried with you because it broke her heart, too.
Her heart died quiet deaths with all the pain she endured. Yet, at night, as she watches your peaceful sleeping cherub face and listens to your shallow breathing, she’s suddenly overwhelmed with more love than she thought was possible. Despite her worn-out arms, her tired heart, and her aching eyes, she knows you’re worth it.
3. “I’m not tired.”
She wakes up at 4 in the morning, when the entire household is still asleep. She slithers around the house, cooking breakfast and preparing your baon. She prepares your bath, makes sure the water is just the right temperature. She makes sure your clothes are clean and wrinkle-free. When you come home from school, there’s food on the table, and your bed has fresh sheets.
She’s keeps herself busy all day, attending to your needs. It exhausts her energy and she’s plummeted into a deep slumber. You don’t know how she does it, but she’d be up at 4 AM again the next day, tirelessly caring for the family.
4. “I don’t really like chicken.”
It was a tough time for the family, but there was always food on the table. Your Mom puts the only piece of meat on your plate. You offer to split it with her, but with a smile, she said “It’s okay, anak, I don’t really like chicken.” When she scraped the remaining meat stuck on the chicken bone, you brushed it off as her being frugal.
Many years later, you realize that she did like chicken. She liked cake, too, but she told you “it’s too sweet for my taste,” so you wouldn’t feel guilty about taking the last slice. She wanted it, too, but she’d rather see you full and happy.
5. “Mama is brave and strong.”
When the power went out because of a raging storm, you tailed behind her as she went to look for candles. In the dark, she seemed so brave. It was almost as if her aura radiated a shield that can fend off monsters and ghosts.
She seemed so brave, but she was always afraid. When she saw your Papa toss you playfully in the air, she almost had a mini-heart attack, even as your delightful giggles filled the room. When you slipped out of her sight in the middle of a busy shopping mall, her heart stopped for a bit. When you laid in bed with a fever so high it made your lips crack, she drove to the hospital with hands that trembled in fear.
She always seemed so invincible, but she always cried with fear and worry. You never saw her, though, because she knows that in front of you, she always has to keep a strong face.
6. “I’m okay, I don’t need anything.”
She watches you scrape together what little money you have to make it through the next payday. She tries to hand you some cash, but as a proud young person who just joined the workforce, you want to prove something and tells her no.
So for Christmas, she tells you to not bother with a gift. You ask her what she wants for Mother’s Day, she tells you she doesn’t need anything, “Save your money instead, Dear.”
Her arms are tired, her legs are worn, and her back is in pain with years of looking after the family, but she never complained. You teased her for wearing a “uniform” every time she went out of the house, but that was because it the only decent piece in her closet—she gave up shopping for herself so you could have new clothes on your back. She went without food, sleep, or showers, because she always puts you first.
7. “I carried you for nine months.”
Not really. She carried you a lot longer than that. She carried you a year later, while she cooked and cleaned the house, when you were crying the house down because you wanted to be near her. She carried you ten years later, when your best friend left to live in another city and you first discovered that people come and go. She carried you twenty years later, when you left for college and felt so homesick. She carried you thirty years later, when you lost your job and felt a pang of quarter life crisis.
She held you close because you needed her warmth. She held you still because she knew you felt safe and loved in her arms. You may have grown too old for snuggles and kisses, but as long as you need her to keep you together, her arms are always wide open.
Our Moms are not perfect. There are days when we’d watch her through tear-soaked eyes, silently loathing her for being unreasonable. Some days, we may hate her for coming off as condescending, like she knew everything and we knew nothing. But she knows all her flaws, she knows when she’s falling short, and when you hate her for them, she hates herself even more. She is hardest on herself when it comes to you.
Being a Mom is the hardest job in the world. There is no step-by-step guide to becoming a perfect mother. The only way to learn and to win over the unknown is to be brave and try. Motherhood is a crazy hodgepodge of joy, pain, excitement, grief, fear, and of late nights and early mornings. Motherhood is built on a rock-solid foundation made of love and sacrifice.
Mama wasn’t perfect, but she did things the best way she knew how. Raising you may be the toughest challenge of her life, but she will do it all over again for you, because for her, you’re worth it.
Make Her Feel Your Love
So the next time you see your Mama, be kind to her. Listen to her stories, though you have probably heard it a hundred times. Hug her and say thank you. Tell her how much you love her.
Give yur Mom something unforgettable. Give her a piece of precious jewelry, or a beautiful signature bag. Take her out to dinner, or prepare a grand surprise for her. Cash is never a problem—turn to PawnHero for some extra budget. Find out how today!
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