They say a breakup is much like having a tooth extracted. You feel relieved once the aching tooth is pulled off, but so many times, you will find yourself running your tongue over the spot where the tooth once was.
This is because not feeling the pain doesn’t always equate to numbness. You’re aware of the gap it left and sometimes, even, you catch yourself missing it terribly. It will make you wonder, “Should I have kept the tooth? Was it wrong to decide to let go of something that was causing me so much pain?” The answer is no. Because no matter how hard you try to hold on to it, eventually, you will have to accept the fact that it has to go and the best thing to do is move forward.
But if you can’t get yourself to move on (from your ex, not your tooth) just yet, that’s okay. Letting go is never an overnight process. It’s not a race, and every heart has a pace. Screw what everyone else has to say. At the end of the day, the heart wants what it wants. PawnHero lists 10 ways you are holding on to your ex.
- Stalk his Facebook (and Instagram, and Twitter and…oh, is that his LinkedIn account?)
Actually, you’re just checking on him. You feel stalking is such a strong word because after all, you just want to know how he’s doing. But the dedicated young woman that you are, you don’t content yourself with just pasilip silip. You check his every status update, sift through all the comments, and when you see an unfamiliar girl, you go on ahead and stalk that girl’s profile, too.
If your “pangangamusta” has backfired and you accidentally like something he posted 38 weeks ago, then maybe it’s time you get some tips from Mace of That Thing Called Tadhana. Enlist the help of a trusted (and possibly bribable) friend: “Sa tuwing babangitin ko siya, iche-check ko ang Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram niya, bibigyan kita ng piso.” You might need to shell out sizable cash from your LV wallet, but girl, malay mo, mag work!
- Keep His Digits.
You’ve been battling against yourself for the longest time: should you delete him from your phonebook, or keep him there? Your thumb hovers over the delete button, as you convince yourself you won’t be needing his number anymore. “Oh well, that’s fine,” you tell yourself when you finally decide to press delete. His number is engraved in your memory, anyway.
- Watch One More Chance.
By the time Basha delivers her signature line, “Sana ako pa rin…sana ako na lang…sana ako na lang ulit,” you’re already shaking uncontrollably and sobbing quite audibly from all the feels. Tip: If you’re up for more ugly crying, also watch Starting Over Again, My Amnesia Girl, That Thing Called Tadhana, Got to Believe, The Notebook, Titanic, and A Walk to Remember.
- Listen to Your Theme Song on Repeat
You listen to Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years” over and over. You imagine yourself walking up the aisle, your pristine white wedding gown trailing behind you. You imagine him looking his usual dapper self as he waits for you at the altar, his eyes brimming with jubilant tears. You didn’t stop there. You then create a playlist that contained songs that remind you of your first official date, your last out of town trip, your late-night trips around the village as you walked the dog–basically everything you did together. Heck, the main reason you religiously pay for your subscription to Spotify is so you could relive those memories anytime you want. Lupit mo, girl!
- Compose Cryptic Posts About Him.
Or post the lyrics to Nina’s I Love You, Goodbye. Or repost a recent Berlin-Artparasites post about lost love. Or retweet some mushy quote about moving on, all in hopes that he might chance upon your profile, see your posts, and message you. Which is never going to happen. Okay lang ‘yan.
- Go on Drinking Sprees.
You intentionally binge on booze, just so you could have a legit reason to drunk call him at 3 in the morning. Never mind if it means draining your LV wallet of its contents. You are getting wasted, and there’s no stopping you. In the morning after, when all trace of alcohol has left your body, you check your call logs and simply wish na sana lamunin ka na lang ng lupa.
- Install TimeHop.
You know, that app that lets you see the posts you have shared some time back and repost them on Facebook. You share one of your old photos together, with the caption “ganito ako kapayat dati,” in an attempt to conceal the fact that the only reason you’re reposting it is because you both looked happy in that photo. Nice try.
- Fake Happiness.
You recently lost your job, been mugged, and fell down three flights of stairs, but your Instagram shows photos of you smiling from ear to ear. You post your jumpshots with Mayon Volcano in the background, as well as photos of you visiting Y’ami Island in the northermost tip of the Philippines (yes, you wanted to get away that badly.) In all your posts, you never fail to include the hashtags #100Happy Days, #SingleButHappy, and #ForgetWhatYouWantAndRememberWhatYouDeserve. You may be drowning in misery and self-pity, but there’s no way you’re giving your jerk of an ex the satisfaction of knowing you’re losing your grip.
- Store every photo, trinket, and love letter. (Alternatively, create a folder for his emails and screenshots of all your conversations.)
You’ve kept everything from receipts of your first “platonic” date at Starbucks to the now moldy wrapper of the Ferrero Rocher he gave you for your anniversary. You’ve also kept all your instax shots as well as copies of pictures taken at various photobooths (at a mutual friend’s wedding, your pamangkin’s debut, at Timezone). All of his love letters and short notes are also still intact, no matter how warped the pages have become with age. Emails, screenshots of text messages and conversations on Viber and Skype are filed in one folder labeled “Bittersweet Memories” or “A New Chapter.” Titles that are rather ironic because they all talk about forgetting when these are folders you can’t exactly delete.
- Hold on to his gifts.
There are days when you can’t even stay inside your room because every nook and cranny reminds you of him. His toothbrush is still in the sink, his soiled shirt is still in the hamper, and the bouquets of flowers that have accumulated over the years are still on top of your dresser. All his gifts remain untouched, too. In fact, you’re still using his last gift to you, which is a limited edition LV wallet. Some days, you swear you could still smell his cologne lingering in the air and for a moment, you wonder if this is a manifestation that the kulam you have commissioned after your breakup has finally worked.
If you’re feeling suffocated by the presence of his gifts inside your room yet are apprehensive about letting these go, try pawning them instead. Unlike a traditional pawnshop, PawnHero accepts luxury bags, shoes, and more. We might even accept those Michael Kors watches he left on your bedside table. We’ll take care of your items while you decide if you still want them or if you want them gone for good.
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